Scot Baio is pretty messed up...me too

If you’re into reality television I have to recommend you check out Scot Baio is 46 and Pregnant. Unlike other reality shows that feel like you’re watching scripted television (such as The Hills which is closer to an episode of The OC than is it to reality) Scot Baio is 46 and Pregnant couldn’t be more authentic.

The show is based on the formerly successful television actor Scot Baio and follows his life which includes recently having gotten his girlfriend pregnant and asking her to marry him. When you begin to watch the show you will probably think that Scot is an ass and overall a loser at life. This is perhaps a fair assessment. He shows lots of undesirable character traits and fails at a lot of things he tries. Even the title of the show seems to big a dig at his character and feels like it could be amended to read, Scot Baio is 46 and Pregnant…what a loser. At first glance one cannot help but conclude that he is going to make a terrible husband and an even worse father.

However, when you really get into the show and watch a couple of episodes your perception of him will change. At least mine did. I quickly began to see that he isn’t a selfish ass but is a scared man who is just trying to figure this life out. Sure he didn’t plan to a have a baby, but he’s trying to make it work. He didn’t want to get married either, but he’s willing to give that a shot too. He is just trying to do the right thing even though he’s not exactly sure what that might be. Sure he has his problems, but he is facing them head on. What’s more, he is sharing them via his show.

A lot of people probably tune into this show and instantly judge Scot, seeing all of his problems and how messed up he is they conclude that he’s a loser. That’s what I did when I first turned it on. But soon I began to identify with him. Who of us hasn’t struggled with a decision? Who of us hasn’t failed? Who hasn’t been scared and confused and wanted to just curl up in the fetal position and cry? I soon found myself having a “me too” moment while watching the show. “Me too”, I have problems just like Scot. “Me too” I’m insecure. “Me too” I’m scared. “Me too” I’m confused. I realized that I wasn’t watching a unique human being who was messed up worse than the rest of us. I was watching a messed up human being just like the rest of us.

This is what the world needs to see. No more perfect people with the perfect life who have everything going their way. No more, “I have all the answers, don’t you wish you were like me.” No more I’m rich and famous come and look at my crib and expensive cars. Instead we need to see something real. Something that evokes the response of “me too” from within us. The feeling that I am not the only one struggling. The feeling that I am not the only one who is messed up on the inside. The feeling that I am not alone in this world. This is the feeling that we all desperately want to have.

“Me too” is when human relationship is at its best. Only when we let down the barricades that we hide our problems behind can we then have true human interaction.

Recently a friend of mine shared with me a struggle he had faced a few years ago with pornography that had rotted him to the core. He said that eventually he reached a point where he couldn’t bear the inner shame and disgust that he felt about himself anymore and he told a friend about his habit. He told them thinking that this person would probably be disgusted and utterly appalled at what he had been doing. Still, he had to tell somebody, he couldn’t face his shame alone anymore. When he told the person he said that the experience was amazing. Instead of being ostracized he experienced the love and grace of a true friend who simply replied, “me too man, me too.” It was in that moment that he experienced release. He no longer had to bear the problem alone.

Too often we bear our burdens alone and in secret because of shame and embarrassment when a loving, forgiving friend is just a phone call away. Fearful of being the only one who is struggling, the only one with a problem, the only one who doesn’t have it all together we choose to stay silent and maintain the shiny exterior of a person who has it all together. By doing this we miss out on the power of hearing those two powerful words, “me too.”

It seems that the world today wants us to pretend that everything is okay. And yet within us we know that everything is not okay. We are hurting, we are stressed, we are confused, we are lonely, we are scared. We are anything but okay. If only we could share with each other what is going on inside we would discover that we are not alone in our struggles. We are not the only one who isn’t okay. In doing this we would get to hear those two words I think we all are longing for, “me too”.